You might not know who Mike Leake is, but he’s a promising young pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds. He was arrested today on a shoplifting charge.

Now, I do know who Mike Leake is since I moonlight as a baseball writer/hack. Leake is a very good pitcher, and he really ought to have a long career in the game should all of his parts hold up to the wear and tear. Leake might not be a superstar yet and he might not be a millionaire yet, but I do know this – he makes $425,000 this year. Four hundred and twenty five thousand dollars. Think to yourself what you could do with four hundred and twenty five thousand dollars a year. He is two years removed from arbitration, and if you’re not familiar with arbitration, it basically means that he’s probably going to be a multi-millionaire in about 24 months if he can just be decent.

He stole $60 worth of shirts?

Suddenly, I want to punch a major league pitcher in the face.  I’d give my right… wait, no… I’d probably give them both to have the talent that Mike Leake has and the fact that he’d go out and risk his place in baseball for a few shirts means that he’s either incredibly stupid, a kleptomaniac, or both.

Mike Leake, you win biggest douchebag of the day.