Saw this posting on Craigslist, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t giving it serious consideration:

Long running private party on San Juan Island seeks butler to the stars, approximately 50 of them, for duration of event, 7/29-7/31. Transport to and from island via private boat, shared bunkhouse accomodation with chef, and cash payment TBD, as well as all you can eat, drink, or otherwise ingest, and souvenir t-shirt are your earthly rewards for the labors outlined below.

You need not have white gloves, a stiff upper lip, or prior butler experience if you can perform the duties, as described below, with verve and aplomb whilst half to fully to exceedingly drunk. Just don’t dip into the sherry.

Some examples of the duties inherent to the butler game in our world include refereeing a slosh ball game, making sandwiches for sloshball players, fetching firewood, partying and having fun with us, maintaining the water pipe and associated ephemera, shucking oysters & collecting same, light facility cleaning (cups, paper plates, bottles etc.), assisting with crabbing duties, possible tiki bar shifts, although they are highly sought after, fire stoking, etc. No cooking is required. Possibly assist chef on a as needed basis. Making cowboy coffee with the percolator.

In this role a cultural fit is weighted far more heavily than prior experience in the selection process. We are a group of mid 20’s to early 30’s men and women who have gathered with friends at this property, in some fashion, for 13-15 years. It’s a damn good time, and last year we had a great time with the chef, and he with us. We want some one cool, who likes to laugh and have fun, and isn’t scared of bald eagles.

Since cultural fit is such a critical component, below are some factors that would in no way impact your selection, to provide some points of cultural reference:
Cannabis arrest
No prior butler experience
A propensity to light things on fire. People are a no-no.
Facial hair
Facial tattoos
Ownership of a tuxedo shirt rather than a tuxedo.
The likelihood of wearing the same tuxedo shirt or tuxedo for the duration of the event, while scrambling through the mud, the blood, and the beer.

Interviews will be held via Skype or GChat as the host lives in New York and is flying out several days before the event.

One note re accommodations: this is an off the grid, rustic property. Solar showers are available, women use the indoor composting toilet, and men take the best shit of their lives in a outhouse hanging off a bluff over Puget Sound. Women, of course, can use the outhouse to take the best shit of their lives if so inclined. Their is indoor plumbing, no electricity. Bring a headlamp. The butler will be put up in a very nice bunkhouse that is less than 5 years old, has very comfy beds, etc. And private. Guests stay in tents. Please Tell us about yourself and leave a phone#. We will contact you if we see fit.

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